Title: I’m fine
All my tears, depression, and sadness
But you seem all fine, and happy
Try to act like nothing happened, but more I think more gloominess
I am unhappy
I want to be fine like you
How can you be fine right away?
My hope has been blew
It makes me angry when I hear your bray
I want to go back to your love
It was most pleasant
Your love was everything else above
Could you come back for my present?
I wish better love can make you shine
Your happiness will make me fine
use better word choices, more colorful words.
ReplyDeletesuch as 'better love'
i don't think that this poem follows directly on the iambic pentameter, I know that you are sufficient in your expression of love, but you should try to use more figurative language and metaphor. Beside that I think that you have good rhyme scheme and voices
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